Family Conversations Pillows

"When I was your age, I was fifteen."

"No, son, Daddy and Mommy never did drugs."

"Dad, how much does it cost to get married?" "I don't know, son. But it's less than a divorce."

"Some day I’d like to raise the cost of living."

'What kinda nuts are we, Dad, rightwing or left?'

"Baldo, a young man like you might have a lot of questions...about feelings, emotions...not knowing what is right and wrong. Remember, mi'jo...I'm here if you need me."

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"How about a hand."

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Dialogue

Oh, no

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

A lesson in wit

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'