Family Comedic Moments Lover Pillows

'Mom, dad, we decided to save our money and live with you.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

"Grandma is really nice but she makes a mean cookie."

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

'Could you direct me to the balloon animal enclosure?'

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

"Amanda, did you throw you shoes away again?"

"Sure you take off with the flock and leave me here stuck with the kids!"

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."