Family Comedic Moments Lover Gifts

'Mom, dad, we decided to save our money and live with you.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Adult Absence Notes.

'How long did you try before calling?'

Dad... this 'Book' thingy - where do you plug it in?

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

"Sure you take off with the flock and leave me here stuck with the kids!"

'Sweetheart, It's time you knew... Your father isn't a real wildlife biologist.'

'Could you direct me to the balloon animal enclosure?'

"Amanda, did you throw you shoes away again?"

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."