Family Chronicle Keeper Pillows

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Professional woman in pub

'Lost Diary'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

man juggling career, home and children

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"I'm just making a few behavioral notes in my journal, then I'll chase him."

Jewish Hall of Nachas

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

Newborn making the V-sign

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

Gigolo Diary

"I'm pretty sure your grandma's secret apple pie recipe is not considered an unauthorized classified document."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'Are you on any medication other than your Grandma's chicken soup?'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

The world on lockdown

'What do you mean, you don't want to dry grapes in the sun for dessert wines, like your father? He's a big success--and only 32!'

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"Thank you for coming with me. This is a sacred family tradition."

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."