Digital Family Record Keeper Pillows

Family Bible.

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Which comes first, crawling or coding?"

How do I love me? Let me count the ways. Ok. You have 18,523 selfies.

man juggling career, home and children

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

Jewish Hall of Nachas

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

I can't decide if I want my blog to be G-rated or X-rated. On the one hand, "blog" is just a four-letter word. But on the other hand, cleanliness is next to blogginess. ?

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.

'Oy! Zadie, I think we need a bigger house!'

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'...Mom said i can have it!' 'No way! She promised I get the painting!'

'Just between you and me, I'm descended from very small dinosaurs.'

The casual selfie

'Son, that's not just your dad's playbook...It's a record of the hugs and kisses he gave you through the years.'

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

My Mother Is Dead But Her Body Is Still Alive

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

"...then I take out one of these, ll them it's an ancestor, and try to sell it to them."

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago on take-your-child-to-work day my father wouldn't let me go home again."

"I am a failure...nobody comments on my blog."

'Yeah, I still use old fashion Facebook. I gotta monitor what my parents are up to!'

'Your diary? How come you didn't just blog it way back then?'

"No, he's not crying for his bottle. That's his, 'I want a new phone' cry."

'A regular chip off the old bottle.'