Digital Family Pillows

I'm so glad we set aside these evenings for 'family' time.

"Which comes first, crawling or coding?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The Baby Walker

'Ahhh...'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

My First Camera

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

Impressing dad.

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."