Family Banter Lover Pillows

"Whadd ya wanna be for Halloween, Bro?"

You always call. Telemarketer's mom.

'I'm sick of quarrels.'

"Oh Yeah? Well You've Got Covid Breath"

"A bum steer... Must be from your side of the family."

"I can't use the computer tonight -- Dad has to scroll to his year of birth."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

Loving family

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'How long did you try before calling?'

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"Sure you take off with the flock and leave me here stuck with the kids!"

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

"Grandma is really nice but she makes a mean cookie."

Egalitarian family

'Could you direct me to the balloon animal enclosure?'

"Amanda, did you throw you shoes away again?"

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

"Thank you, honey, for your vote of confidence in our parenting decisions."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

Mythical Family of Four

'I'm busy. Can't you make it yourself?'

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

"When you said I'd 'Really clean up' when Grandma visits I didn't know you meant my room!"