Family Architects T-Shirts

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"City kids."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

'We'll get a head start on goofing off.'

'Hey Dad, Mom's got a new hobby...still life painting...er, Dad?'

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

Pregnancy Test

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

Sheds

If business gets any worse, I'll have to start laying off relatives!

Bob hated baby talk.

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"Someday, this will all go into your pre-nuptial agreement."

"Oh, great. Humble Beginnings."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

'Oh, he was bored with the toys within hours, but he's still enjoying the batteries.'

"You live very near the edge, don't you"

'As I meant so say, Jenny, I think it would be a great idea for me to show Billy and you how to invest online.'

'Alphabet soup. This isn't nutrition. It's education.'

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

'It appears more and more people are working at home these days.'

Will build to suit myself.

Flat-pack furniture assembly creating 3D illusion

"I bet you're glad you got out of politics to spend more time with your family."

"I like him. He's not afraid to get his hands dirty."

Castle-shaped igloo.

"I found a way to pay the mortgage. I sold the naming rights to the house."

"At least we agree that buying a glass house was a lousy idea."