Family Activity Coordinator Pillows

Turn Down For What.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

The Family Joules: Part 16

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"It's his emotional support animal."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

A child interrupting family prayers

Happy Turkey Day!

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

Acclaimed mother.

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Thirty years from now, this will seem terribly quaint and awash in charming period detail.'

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'