Faithful Sleeper Gifts

'Please RSVP.'

"When I can't sleep I don't count sheep I count my blessings."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Night-time halo

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Parachuting bishop.

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Jesus Christ

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Testing the water temperature in the font.

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'