Faithful Planner Gifts

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"Three more years of high school."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

Saving for College.

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."