Faithful Partner Pillows

'Don't bother to explain, I wasn't born-again yesterday.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Priest

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Unconditional Loveseat

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Monk Prompt

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."