Faithful Partner Pillows

'Don't bother to explain, I wasn't born-again yesterday.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Monk Prompt

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Unconditional Loveseat

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Minister Starts at a New Church

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

I'd climb the highest mountain for you...

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."