Faithful Leader Pillows

Minister Starts at a New Church

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Priest

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Personal Assistants.

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Spiritual Lives Matter

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Men's Prayer Group.

"The buck really stops with him."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."