Faithful Observer Pillows

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

Displaying Christian symbol deemed offensive.

Jesus is tempted in the desert.

'Your baptism will bring you closer to God!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'Pop-up Bible.'

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Men's Prayer Group.

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

Chess on TV

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

TV and man

"But how many followers do you have?"

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

Pope Francis