Faithful Freelancer Gifts

"I don't know about this freelancing. I'd like someone to guard."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

Parachuting bishop.

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Jesus Christ

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

Men's Prayer Group.

The church of our lady of wall street.

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Jesus swept.

God and His Copilot.

Put it in writing!

There's always one idiot at the staff Christmas party who goes too far. If you work for yourself, that would be you.

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

Holier Than Thou

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'Could I get back to you on that one? My broker says my stock went back up!'

Power and the Glory tools

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

I work from home now. Cheers, J.C.

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

"Good morning! I'd like to come in and talk to you about the Bible..."

'Very very uplifting this morning, Reverend!'

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

Prophets are up.

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."