Faithful Footballer Gifts

'With your two left feet you ain't got a prayer, mate!'

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Monk Prompt

Christian and Born again Christian...

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"The buck really stops with him."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Football Delivery

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Men's Prayer Group.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."