Faithful Business Professionals Gifts

Profits - And finally I've asked Father O'Flynn to pray for a miracle.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Butterfly Woman

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

The Evolution of the Bonus

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."