Faith Collector Gifts

"One god... one church... one collection."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Before the Internet

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

A child interrupting family prayers

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Bearded Leftie.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Meet the Author

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

The Month of July

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

Who's Dead

"Holy water, holy water...."

'How old is this vase?'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

The Bible, signed copy.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'