Faith And Football Fan Gifts

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Raheem Sterling

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Uptight End"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Kenny Dalglish

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'