Fairytale Fans Pillows

'It's getting really difficult to fatten them up, since the government clamped down on the sugar and fat content in food.'

'This yoga is too hot.'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

'Walk all the way to the woods?! Why can't we just call a cab?'

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

Healthy Witch Digest

Alexa, Alexa, on the shelf, am I still the hottest MILF?

"Honey, I'm going to need on of those kid menus."

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

"Hi Ho Hi Ho It's to benefits we go..."

Rapunzel was now regretting having become a Skinhead.

"Once upon a time, seven dwarves was a tall order but now the snow white virgin is the real problem

"C'mon, kiss me. I'm Irish."

'So, she has; Big eyes, big ears, a big nose and big teeth... Any other distinguishing features?'

Handsome prince gets distracted.

As an awkward teenager, pick-up lines didn't work too well for the Ugly Duckling.

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"One kiddie cone."

Sleeping beauty wearing a face mask

"Robin Hood and Maid Marian… and 'Trixie'"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

A Fairytale Update

Here be dragons.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."