Fairy Tale Punster Pillows

Beauty and the Baste

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Sweep the board.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Dogs life

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

K9 Literati

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."