Factory Floor Humorist Gifts

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

"We know how to treat old or stubborn workers. After all, this is a dog food factory."

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

"Gesundheit."

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'Ring binders Direct' 'Ace Laxatives'

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

Pork Lift

Acme Coffee Co.

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"What we need is a union."

Dog urinating on tree on the back of a lorry

'You're being replaced by a machine...But at least it's an American-made machine.'

"And this is Dave. His motto is 'Push where it moves.'"

Robot's Coffee Break.

"And this, gentlemen, is what one of our typical American workers looks before he gets fired!"

"Soak your nuts in acetone every day for a week, and it should clear up as good as new."

'I did it at the skill centre'

This ones causing problems with the barcode machine!

'The company bought a machine to replace 20 of us, but it's too large to fit in the shop!'

Safety pin factory.

Inspectors #2 and #3 inspect clothing.

'We deal mostly in rolling stock...'

Unicorns are recalled by God.

'Did you hear that marketing wants us to move into 'compressed liquids' next?'

"I understand your machine makes O-rings."

Maternity Ward Door Sign - 'Push, push, push'

Forks

'I'd rather be in Philadelphia.'

How to Cross the Rhine