Fact Collectors Gifts

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Before the Internet

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The Month of July

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Who's Dead

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

Funky Facts: Turtles.

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'How old is this vase?'

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

1000 different economic theories trading cards. Collect them all.

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Sorry, but statistics don't lie: hippopotamus are more dangerous to humans than lions..."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers