Facial Finesse Fan Gifts

'My cosmetic surgery clinic does well but it's always nip and tuck.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Medical Cabinet

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

Chuck played mean hair guitar.

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

'You've got lot toe!'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"You must be new around here, pardner."

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

Caddy With A Cool Box

'Now where did I lay my comb?'

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"We're headin' into town. 'Course I'm gonna moisturize."

Rory McIlroy

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

"I'm not helping you out of the TAR PIT!! I might break a nail!!"

Only a handful of people are this small.

'Now I look like Mummy!'

I've had a fantastic round, I've even got a ball left over!

Why the long face?

"You've got some beard in your food."