Facebook Enthusiast Pillows

'You say you have people skills yet you have only two Facebook friends. I find that troubling.'

For every two new Facebook friends I add, one old one unfriends me. Gee, that's too bad, Al. Actually, it's an improvement.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

Digital Fomo!

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Obsession with the Internet.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Trick or Tweet

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"She looks just like in your photos."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

How logos change over time.