Facebook Enthusiast Pillows

'You say you have people skills yet you have only two Facebook friends. I find that troubling.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Obsession with the Internet.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Digital Fomo!

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Trick or Tweet

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"She looks just like in your photos."

How logos change over time.

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."