Face Creams T-Shirts

Face Cream with Highly Moronic Acid

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Face painting.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Face painting by numbers.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Clown Face Painting

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Some scents are nonsense.

"Where are my eyelashes?"

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Have you got your make up on yet?