Face Creams Gifts

Face Cream with Highly Moronic Acid

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Face painting.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Face painting by numbers.

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I don't like your application."

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Clown Face Painting

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."