Skin Care Gifts

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'I'll tell you one thing about this time of the year...we're all itchin' for summer to get here.'

'Well, that's just great...my big night and I get a zit!'

'Don't think 'blotchy'. Think variegated skin, like a beautiful plant.'

Pick Your Own Zits.

Call Stu Farkleman, Dermatologist.

Call Stu Farkleman, Dermatologist

'You're the fairest of them all. That's why you have to use sunscreen.'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

"Worst case of dry scalp ever!"

'Another pint of sun lotion.'

'Sure your grandmother and I used drugs when we were your age, but they were all acne medications.'

Coming off a sunbed with a stripy tan.

'My strawberry cleansing cream, sesame oil skin moisturiser, and goat's milk soap have ruined my diet. At this rate I won't fit into my wedding gown.'

'Now, somewhere around here is where moles are created.'

'I'm in dire straits, doctor...I rule with an iron fist and I have jock itch.'

'Bud just can't take much sun; he has such a delicate skin.'

"It' not a turn signal. It's a nasty pimple."

"What's the strongest after-sun you sell?"

"Thank you, but I don't know if a dermatologist can help you make the cheerleading squad."

Xerosis: Effects of a lifetime of photocopier abuse.

Acne, the scourge of the 17-year locust

Thirsting for skin cream.

Kyleen's SPF 5000 Beach Umbrella helps her avoid skin cancer.

'Did we bring enough lotion because the ancient curse of the mummy is very dry skin!'

'I want to look ten years younger.'

"No one's going to notice a little thing like that."

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

Age-Spot Removal Offer!

"On the surface there's nothing wrong with you."

"It's supposed to be good for the complexion."

"It looks as though our baby has found another spot on her chin."

This sun block lotion is so strong, it protects you from sun, lightning strikes, nuclear radiation, and will block cell phone transmissions at 50 feet!

"I'm way too old for this...."