Face Contortionist T-Shirts

'Say when you want me to start!'

Face painting.

Yoga for Alcoholics

Romantic Giraffes

Face painting by numbers.

Clown Face Painting

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

Face painting children with no facial features.

Flo was mortified when she discovered that her web cam was broadcasting when she was testing out possible new looks.

'Creamed beets freak me out.'

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

Face painting - children have no faces

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Gymnast tangled up.

Multitasking

'I'm all about quantity.'

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

Man chooses head from cupboard.

"Yes, you work quickly, but kids expect a bit more detail."

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

"My daughter tells me that you work in the entertainment industry?"

'Promise you won't smudge his face painting?'

Multitasking

Planning officer has a man in his in-tray: 'In order to speed up the system, I have my own personal member of the public to consult.'

'Oh, come on. . . you can't tell me Dasher hasn't had antler enhancement surgery!'