Cocktail Contortionist T-Shirts

Yoga for Alcoholics

A Good Batch.

'Steak Ted?'

Join me in a Martini?

"I forget to drink."

Wordplay: Export.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

Fallen Angel.

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

Fancy a twinkle before supper?

Piano Bar

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

Hold The Pickles

"Everything has been done to death."

"What I like about booze is that it's so low tech."