Cocktail Contortionist T-Shirts

Yoga for Alcoholics

A Good Batch.

'Steak Ted?'

Join me in a Martini?

"I forget to drink."

Wordplay: Export.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

Fallen Angel.

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

Fancy a twinkle before supper?

Piano Bar

"It's Olive isn't it?"

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"Everything has been done to death."

'Fill 'er up!'

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."