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"No, thanks. I'm in training."

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

Hole in the Dyke.

"It was an interesting panel on how we're represented in fables."

The boy whose hair was on fire about some kind of wolf thing

'Ever since I lost that stupid race, I've been a laughing stock wherever I go...

'Sorry to hear about your gas, but I specialize in thorns-in-the-pay.'

"I suppose now I owe you one."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Swan Fairy Tales

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

The Mouse Princess

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Pastries and Candy

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Eat my dust!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Grimm's Reality Tales.