Eyelid Glue Expert Gifts

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

'It's more festive-looking!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

Super glue . . .

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

GLOO!

Time to trim the eyebrows!

'I tell you, Angela, there's no sight sadder than a desperate adhesives salesman...'

'There's been a little accident in the glue shop.'

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

"Guess how many tubes of Krazy glue it took to fill those holes in your new bowling ball, Dad?"

It says he invented super glue.

Man sticking matchsticks together for Bryant and May

'It covers well enough, but I found the recommended drying time to be completely inadequate.'

Carl, his mustache, Jerald, and his eyebrows, Leonard and Reggie.

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

'Insomniacs Anonymous. Next meeting 3am,Tues.'

ACME Adhesive Corp.

Dueling Glue Guns: Glue unto Others as you would have them glue unto you.

"Okay, so it may not be the spectacular medical breakthrough that we had been hoping for, but we have discovered a fabulous new glue."

'In tough negotiations I've found a bit of eyeliner really distracts them!'

Hansen's Glue-All Multi-Purpose Glue

Afternoon crafts

"Can't beat that super glue for sticking power, huh?"

Frank & Ernie's Fix-it Shop. Things to glue today.

'This is pretty good to prevent your money from slipping through your fingers!'

'Lingerie works, but I usually lure Doug to the bedroom with a laser pointer.'

It says he invented super glue …