Extreme Snacker Pillows

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Breakfast surreal.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

Cookie Thief

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Spiro & Pusho cook a chicken on a volcano

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

The four major food groups.

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

"Mustard? Ketchup? Mayo? Talk to me, old man."

"Aw. I thought you said Pizza tonight."

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

The Grenade Nut Cracker.

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

Book Burp