Extraterrestrials Gifts

"Take us to your vodka."

Captain Pointy No.5 - Skeptical about aliens

"Whataya say we stop off for a baked Alaska and a Manhattan?"

'I said, 'take us to your leader', that's whoo!'

'IQ shortage, help wanted.'

'...and what about my Human Rights?'

'Anyway, thanks for listening to me...'

Alien on Board

An alien bachelor party,

Alien babies run round the streets while everyone ignores them.

'...I know it's hard, but try keeping all your eyes on the ball.'

'We've been picking up your TV broadcasts- are you people nuts or what?'

Humans welcome a UFO and its aliens whilst other aliens get ready with guns in the background

I wonder what kind of a welcome we will get on this planet.

'Wallow in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

'...Water on Mars'

"Bringing him a television from the 1960's has turned him into a cro-magnon rock potato!"

"According to your report he didn't take the probing very well."

Alien implants

"And may I ask where you've been? I've been texting you all night!"

"Let's try it again. And this time, try to relax."

"Living in space is just like living on Earth"

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

Hand Sanitiser

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

"But your profile said you were the hottest guy on the planet."

"My report on UFOs went nowhere."

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"Funny how this happens when we're supposed to have dinner with my friends."

The Truth is In Here

"We're a highly advanced race. Except for the mullets."

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

What's your earliest memory, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I was five years old. An alien crash-landed and I found it hiding in my closet. I befriended it and taught it to have fun. But eventually it got sick, and the government stepped in. That's when I helped the alien make its escape and reunited it with its parents. That sounds awfully familiar, Randy. I was a child. When some writer offered to option the story in return for a pack of Bubblicious, I thought it was a good deal.

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh