Extraterrestrial Mysteries Gifts

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

Outer Space Outsourcing

High-gravity baseball

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Alien Assumption

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Take me to your mechanic."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

"Underweird bras."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

"They certainly are jolly creatures aren't they?"

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set wh

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"They're very time-sensitive."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'Perhaps the surest evidence intelligent life exists out there is the fact it hasn't revealed itself to us thus far.'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

'IQ shortage, help wanted.'