Extraterrestrial Fan Gifts

"The food was o.k., but the atmosphere was terrible."

'Oh no, we've had our funding withdrawn...no more human abductions.'

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

"Would you relax? They never look up."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

Eye Opener

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

"You left this on our ship."

'You should have thought of that before we abducted you.'

A planet like ours - "Of all their missions to Earth, the ones involving crop circles were considered 'short straw'."

This will teach them to short against the Draq.

Spaceman paying the meter for parking his spaceship.

'Easy there, big fellow -- we're just going to band your leg and let you go.'

'Uh, no offense, but is there other life here?'

"He came to conquer the planet, but first he wants to get his feet wet by serving on a school board."

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"Earth, you'll need our standard Roswell cover"

"So, where are you headed to next?"

'I propose a new destination. There's a planet on the far side of Alpha Centauri that I like.'

"Coo-ee, Mister Bagshaw! You've got visitors"

"I guess we should exchange insurance."

"Just ignore him. Remember what a mess he made in here last time."

A woman with a green face mask sits next to an alien

Look, XYXX! They're friendly!

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

Moon Cave

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"Take me to David Bowie."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Alien Snowmen