Extinction Comedy Fan Gifts

'I'd like to buy extinction insurance.'

Zombie standup

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"Am I sensing fear?"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Little ship of horrors

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Optometrist Humor

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Woman breaks up with two-headed man.

The Stand-Up Gastroenterologist

"He's surprisingly sensitive about heckling."

"Sure, he's not tall, dark or handsome....but he makes me laugh."