Expression Examiner T-Shirts

'If a picture is worth a thousand words, then your essay is 250 words over the limit.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

Sigmund Freud.

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

The Elephant in the Womb

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Examiners.

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Office of quality assurance"

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

Museum of Natural Cliches

An English and French student converse.

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

Devil in the detail

"I though you said I should take the ball and slowly meander around with it."

Axel, if I were to give you one piece of advice in life, it would be this: Don't hide your light under a bushel

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"I ask you, what would life be like without similes?"

"They say the early bird gets the worm, but something's rotten in Denmark with this scenario!"

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.