Explosive Eliminator Gifts

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Flies up the ante!

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

Drone Spray

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"These door hinges squeak."

Superintendent

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

'I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!'