Target Eliminator Gifts

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

Flies up the ante!

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

Drone Spray

Superintendent

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"