Target Eliminator Pillows

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

Flies up the ante!

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Drone Spray

"These door hinges squeak."

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

Superintendent

'How long did you try before calling?'

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."