Explosion Avoider Gifts

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Big bumpers.

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"I guess it wasn't 'just crazy enough to work' after all."

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

D.I.Y ladder

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

"How was your day, dear?"

Magazine Exploded on US Steamer 'Mississipi', Nr Port Hudson

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"I see you found my science project, dad. Cool, it works!"