Exploring Malls Gifts

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where are you? Find Out! $1.00.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Indirectory: You're way over there somewhere.

Shopping Nightmare

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

Man looking at poster making fun of him for being lost.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Island of Lost Guys.

Customer Convention

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Brick and Mortar

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Mall of ages

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'You must have something in my size?'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?