Exploring Humor Pillows

'...And a bottle of Bollinger '61 if you please Fred...'

Billy. The Kid.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

Aggression/Security

"Today's special is we'll pull the plug on the jukebox if someone else's music annoys you."

Wall Street...

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Boss, can you check the address again? I have a bad feeling about this one."

Meds Toast

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"We don't like the same marriage counselor gags anymore."

"..and you'll also need Percy here, his interpreter"

'Too much hazel, not enough nut.'

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

Down with canned laughter.

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

I think you've cured my depression, doctor. Lately, when I read the funny papers, it seems to me like "The Family Circus" has gone over to the dark side.

'...And now, this Surgeon-General's warning: 'Look out, you fools!''

Duckumentary: 'QUACK!'

Urp! Homo Eructus.

"Is the snapper fresh?"