Explorer Humor Lover Gifts

'It was owned by a doctor? Doctor Livingstone,I presume!'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

Man fishing with large bait

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

Destiny is all...

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

"We don't like the same marriage counselor gags anymore."

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

"Better imaginary than extinct."

'Have you done any stand-up?'

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

Open Mic Nacht

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

The fact he was a neutered housecat never stood in the way of Mr. Whiskers' dream.

"Oh, sure, Mr. Nice Guy robot, bringing in the pastries...we get fat and you just sit there, charging your batteries!"

'Why, 'Dr. Suez' of course!'

A Cave Painting

"Did the Earth Move For You ?"

"Oh, look - a Halloweiner dog!"

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'I gave the Captain a thousand bucks to strand us on an uninhabited island with nothing but a musket.'