Explaining Death Pillows

"Why bother?"

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"They're very time-sensitive."

Apocalliptical

'It could be hours, or it could be weeks. He's determined to hang on until he finally understands the punchline to a joke everybody else got at a cocktail party in 1947!'

Heaven

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Back in 15 min."

"Give a call when you get there."

"Have a seat!"

"Dad and his stupid bucket list."

Grim Reaper Checkout

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

"Now there's one less conspiracy theorist in the world - or is there?"

'You'd look good in that.'

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"I've always thought it was eerie. He expired the same day as his Visa card."

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

Death selfie

"Did you do all of this for me?"

'I wish I had learned more trivia.'