Curious About Death Pillows

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Why bother?"

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

"They're very time-sensitive."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Give a call when you get there."

'You'd look good in that.'

"Now there's one less conspiracy theorist in the world - or is there?"

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

Devil vs Angel Duel.

"Any fruits or vegetables?"

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

'Finally I can enjoy a smoke without this constant fear that some day it'll kill me!' (smoking in heaven)

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

"I've always thought it was eerie. He expired the same day as his Visa card."

"I thought I knew Venice quite well, but I don't recognise any of this at all."

"Mother said she started toward the light but she's so bad with directions that she made a couple wrong turns and had to turn back."

The three stages of modern life.

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.

"Sorry, sir, but you can't collect on your life insurance policy when you don't have a life."

'This wasn't what I was expecting when they told me they were kicking me upstairs.'

HOw the Cat WOund Up With Nine Lives.

'Sleep well, Mrs. Krantz. When you wake up again your heart will be as good as new!'

line of life

'My wife insisted this is where I spread her ashes.'

"Alice, do you have any singles? He wants a tip!"

Dice with death.