Experimental Performer T-Shirts

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"Could you keep still?"

Interpretive napping

Double Saxophone

"I'm putting you on country music."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Please turn on your cell phones."

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'So that's his secret.'

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Air Sitar.

The Death of Pierrot

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'You were right, Dad. It started to bounce on the third or fourth step.'

A violinist adds balloons and bells to her bow.

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

"My one man play is now in the west end. I play Lee Harvey Oswald."

Tomb of the unknown lab rat.

'I like how the band are not afraid to experiment.'

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

Seth Schubert, Concert Harmonicist