Experimental Eaters Pillows

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Ten out of ten for effort...

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Funky Chef 2

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

Onion Guillotine

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Molecular gastronomy.

Ordinarily I'd suggest we'd talk our way out...If only we weren't so God damn tasty!

'I was able to neutralize the stress hormone using chocolate.'

'One extra hot red chilli curry, $10. One super spicy vindaloo, $12.50. The look on your face when it comes out the other end... priceless.'

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

Cafe Philosophique

Soup on a stick

'Great crisps.' 'Yes, they're old cornflakes and salt.'

'I know how you like Fusion cooking, so try this - macaroni and jelly!'

Kitchen Consultations