Experiencing A Generational Gap Gifts

'Glastonbury? You've been up to no good in some young man's bedsit, haven't you! Mud sticks, y'know.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Pre-Old Blues

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"I'm your hip replacement."

"We invented your hair."

'I suppose you think you're better than your parents, mister I-Can-Walk-Upright?!'

'They're not reliable.'

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"Don't tell grandmom about your computer's virus. She'll just tell you to download chicken soup."

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"Please—no technology questions!"

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'

A child offers an old man adult diapers in the grocery store.

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

'I spent lots of time on line when I was your age... hanging clothes in the back yard!'

Social Media Explained By Ginny Root 3rd Grade.

Baby boomers anthem.

"In my day men waited till they did some damage to their kidneys before they relieved themselves."

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

Never Trust Anyone Under Thirty